30-Jan-2011 14:55

‘How Can I Help You?’ - A Networking Turn-Off

The most successful networkers understand that the strength of any relationship is based upon the questions asked & the supplementary responses.

In 2011 ‘networking’ may be all-encompassing and opportunities abound to connect…

Whether chatting on the phone, meeting at organised networking events, over a latte & bun at your local coffee shop or a booked 1-2-1, questions should be raised about the other person’s interests, their goals and achievements, their business and industry or, and depending on the trade, product or service, even their personal lives.

However, there remains a distinct skill and art to networking: the ability to be personable without being contrary, to be incisive without seeming pushy, and to show empathy and understanding…

Our individual networking experience confirms that the optimum way to succeed in networking, business and indeed in life is to show a willingness to help and assist others. Ivan Misner of BNI may have coined the term ‘Givers Gain’ but we can all appreciate the concept.

The one question however most likely to be misunderstood or even ignored is the one that should provide the greatest success…

The well-meaning & innocent offer, "How can I help you?" is often incorrectly misinterpreted as a demand, "Do you have any work for me?"

A common and almost knee-jerk automatic response may be a brusque & terse retort that ‘they don’t have anything for you right now, but they will keep you in mind…’

Know that what was proposed as an innocently helpful offer of support has suddenly caused them to perceive you as a ‘salesman’ with all the negative connotations. The likelihood of proactive and future networking reciprocity will be limited.

So how indeed can we better network and what may be a preferred way of asking, "How can I help".

Far be it for me to offer guru-style succinct and failsafe answers, but my personal, albeit limited, networking experience may offer alternatives…

Perhaps, woven into the conversation could be the simple phrase, "What are your specific needs in 2011?" and assuming you receive a positive response, you could follow up with your supplementary reaction, "Oh that’s interesting, so how can I help you with your xxxxxxxxx problem?"

This simple dialogue has now not only improved the possibility of assisting your networking partner but has possibly laid the foundation of a mutually trusting & beneficial association…

By increasing your chances of being able to help them, you have also grown the likelihood of becoming more memorable… & with word-of-mouth marketing is that not the ultimate goal?

So, the next time you may be networking directly at an event or perhaps simply chatting whilst waiting in line at a corporate buffet, remember, that in order to help them, you really need to know "what they need"… and the most effective way to find out, may simply be "to ask ‘em".